Fu@k you ED!!

I have had this overwhelming amount of anger and frustration towards my eating disorder the past couple days. I am so sick of having ED control my life, control my thoughts, steal my time from people I care about and keep me down in an immobilizing depression. My self esteem has been damaged for so many years because I have believed so many lies about myself based on implicit and explicit messages from others (and myself) that I have received.  Because of these lies I have settled for a life that I don't want or deserve.

Instead of focusing all my energy on obsessive thoughts about food and body image and listening to all the negative things I tend to believe about myself I could be channeling that energy into something more worthwhile and meaningful: a real life.

Anger can be a good thing if it's channeled in the appropriate way. No longer will I direct it towards myself but instead at the very thing that's keeping me from myself: ED! No longer will I think of myself as unworthy or undeserving of someone else's love and especially my own love. No longer will I think I'm not good enough for someone else or deserve less than what I want or need.  I am done. I am worthy. I am lovable. I am strong. I am capable of anything. And I sure as hell deserve a life of recovery!

(It helps me identify my eating disorder as ED bc it really does feel like it is a separate entity from me)

Comments

  1. <3<3<3 It takes a really confident/strong person to openly talk about personal struggles such as this, so since you already have the confidence to do that, you'll have all your self-esteem, self-love, happiness, personal satisfaction, and good vibes back before you know it. Rock on girl, you got this.

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